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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Welcome to Midnight!

Re-blog. Bold and cross off what you’ve done :)

Since the start of 2011 I’ve:

Gotten a new piercing.
Dyed my hair.
Ended a relationship.
Started a new relationship.
Been on a long car/bus journey.
Passed an exam. (seriously, eh? NO MORE EXAM FOR ME! :D )
Met someone who’s now an important part of my life.
Cried on someone’s shoulder.
Had a massive fight with a boy/girlfriend.
Received flowers.
Had a Valentine.
Written a letter using pen & paper.
Gone to see a therapist. (Almost!)
Been prescribed medication by a doctor.
Read a really good book.
Gone to the zoo.
Spent too much money on unnecessary things.
Traveled by train.
Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
Spent the day out in the sun getting a tan. (Got tanned, but not spending time like what you think!)
Slammed a door out of frustration.
Had an anxiety attack.
Babysat for a friend’s child.
Had a BBQ
Gone bowling
Seen a film at the cinema in 3D.
Gone on a date.
Been the only sober person on a night out
Helped someone home after they had been drinking.
Stayed up all night.
Talked on the phone for over two hours.
Supported someone who’d received bad news.
Watched some sort of live sporting event
Read an entire book in one day.
Bought a DVD the day it came out
Eaten McDonald’s more than four times in a single week.
Cried as a result of exam stress.
Met some incredible new people.
Gone to great parties. (birthdays/tea parties don’t count)
Fallen backwards off a chair.
Broken my glasses.
Worn a watch for the first time in years.
Cried over someone in my past.
Spent hours aimlessly browsing the internet.
Cried over a film.
Gone out of my way to avoid an ex-boy/girlfriend.
Fought with someone in public.
Been in a relationship for a year or longer.
Cried in front of someone I adore.
Lost one of my closest friends.

(Source: vilecreature)

2011... full of memories. Incredible great and bad things happened, but after all, it has been a great year for me, how about yours? :)  Hoping for a better year ahead for everyone! 

For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning. ---T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Feliz Navidad!


Countdown to Christmas! One more day to go. I changed my background music to Christmas Carols Medley from Boston Pops. Enjoy :)

Here's another Christmas day to be spent alone, in this big city, with no families and companions, can't feel the warmth and the joy and even the theme of Christmas. Seems pathetic but, that's the truth. But hey! It's almost Christmas time! Everyone should be happy and enjoy the day and the holiday, right?! :)

Dear Santa, can you lend me your reindeer to fly me to home, where all the family, love, joy, warmth and blessing gathered all around? Nahh, no worries. I know you can't. You need your reindeer to send Christmas gifts to every good child around the world, maybe I am not "good" enough to get a Christmas gift from Santa, or well, I am not child anymore, or simply it's because no snow in Indonesia, so yeah :p

Anyway, whatever happens, I still love Christmas time. I'll find a way to enjoy my day and be merry and be happy.

Have a blessed day and enjoy your Christmas' eve, butterflies! I'll see you guys again on Christmas day! :)

Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home. ---Carol Nelson. /in my case I am not at home---sigh/

Sunday, December 11, 2011

We All Complete - Book Review: Never Let Me Go

Finally, after all of this time, I managed to get this book done. What a touching story. I cried in the end, because it's a tragic story I should say. Not only a tragic love story, but also a tragic and terrible truth of their fate. When I read this book, I learned a lot of new vocabularies as Kazuo used uncommon words-pardon my bad and limited vocabularies in English as it's not my first language, till I have to say something that would embarrassed me like this on my own blog, but I am telling the truth :) and it might not be a problem for you :)- Anyway, at the very first time I read the book, I can see that Kazuo used a strong words and it somehow made me think, this was a heavy ones. That bad thought of mine, enough to make me lose the interest in finishing the book. But Thanked God, something inside me keep on telling me to finish it, at least for "something's-or I can say someone's-sake". Haven't read his book before, so I don't know it's his style in writing or it's just on this particular book only.

Then I found out, the more I read it, the more I started to understand the storyline and of course, Kathy's feeling. It's hard for me to put down the book once you've started. I keep on going on and on and when I reached the last page, the last paragraph, I was hoping for more lines there to read. It was such a very sad ending. Personally, I don't like a book with sad ending, but this one is worth to read.

I've watched the movie too, and my suggestion based on what I've experienced, you should watch the movie first then read the book, or else, you'll be disappointed. I love movies, but I prefer read the book first, because by reading, we can imagine things and the stories, characters and the possibilities are endless. You can imagine anything, then after that, you watch the movie and see if it suits to your imagination or even higher or worst. You must have heard or read about me always looking for spoilers and I love it when people tell stories about movies they've watched in such details from beginning till the very end. Yeah, it's simply because, I want to imagine them first, then I want to see the reality fits to my imagination or not. It's weird I know, but that's me. When I read a book, I always want to know how's the ending and I might be cheating by turning to the very last page to know what's going on at the end, somehow, it will makes me more excited in reading the whole book. :p

Well, back to the Never Let Me Go, why I am suggesting you to watch first, because you'll get disappointed with the movie if you read the book first. It was a short one and they put not too much details in the movie. I can see some missing parts and important moments that they should put in the movie, but they didn't. Bur still it's a beautiful piece, so just watch and read it :)

I found a quite long good review about the book and the story and because I am too lazy to type it down, so here they are.

Never Let Me Go is a novel about Kathy, Ruth, and Tommy. They are three students who reside in Hailsham, a boarding school. Or at least that is what is said in the outset. But soon enough, the reader realizes that this is no ordinary boarding school: teachers are called guardians, and students are encouraged to produce poetry and art but nothing else. There's an interesting method of economics in the school, where they get to buy other people's artwork using tokens. There is also a character only known as Madame, who collects the most beautiful pieces produced by the students, hoarding them in a secret gallery.

Later on, other crucial facts are slowly revealed to the reader. Slowly, the reader learns that the students are there for a purpose, a purpose that perhaps is advantageous for the greater society, but definitely not for the students themselves. This slow-moving revelation is the crux of the novel, something that I am highly tempted to reveal here, but opt not to. I'd leave that to the reader to discover.

But no, the focus of the novel is actually not on this dystopian and dysfunctional fact. Instead, the focus rests on the social dynamic between Kathy, Ruth, and Tommy. Early on, Kathy is one timid girl, who seems to be more of a follower than a doer. She is content with observing her surroundings instead of doing things. Ruth is one feisty girl she befriends, and Tommy is a boy with a temper, but things lead to Kathy and Tommy being close to each other.

Upon hitting puberty, Ruth and Tommy decide that they like each other, and so they become a couple and have plenty of sex. However, it is obvious to the reader that old pals Kathy and Tommy are better suited for each other. Ruth is the anti-heroine; I just couldn't make up my mind whether I liked her or not. She does things that preclude me from totally thinking that he is the antagonist. After all, it is the society as a whole which is the antagonist in this novel; Kathy, Ruth, and Tommy only have different ways of dealing with the obstacles that are presented in front of them.

As Never Let Me Go progresses, the characters leave the scene one by one. Ruth becomes the first one to go . As she lay dying, she convinces Kathy and Tommy to be a couple, after all, they are compatible with each other. She admits that it was her life-long goal to antagonize the two apart, her reason being that otherwise, she would feel quite lonely. She reveals information that would potentially give them reprieve from the ultimate end that they all are facing. To make a long story short, this is a story about the social and emotional dynamics between three people, between a love triangle, as they navigate their short life here on earth, knowing that sometime in the future, there will be an end.

With respect to the novel, I am actually glad that I picked up this book. I don't think I can say anything negative about it. I loved the way that it was written: the narration was subtle, and it felt like it was a narration that slowly embraced my whole being as I read the book. I remember feeling the same way when I read my very first Ishiguro, when I picked up Nocturnes. It was just a style of narration that was addictive and intoxicating.

With respect to the structure, I appreciated this style where things were slowly revealed to the reader, and the reader's task was to piece things together and string the clues together so that they would make sense as a whole. As much as the topic sounds like science fiction, where the characters exist in a dystopian alternate universe, it wasn't presented as science fiction. Instead, this felt more like a psychological thriller, in which the conflict rested completely within the minds of the three main characters. I guess this is one exception to the stereotype that sees science fiction as all about gadgets and other hype, and lacking soul and emotional impact.

Overall, I loved Never Let Me Go. This is one book that will linger in my head for the days to come. I enthusiastically give it 5 out of 5 stars.

If you wish to read it from its original website, you can find it here.

Here's another review about the movie-story, taken from IMDB.

The film begins with onscreen captions explaining that a medical breakthrough in 1952 has permitted the human lifespan to be extended beyond 100 years. Subsequently, the film is narrated by 28-year-old Kathy H. as she reminisces about her childhood at Hailsham, as well as her adult life after leaving the school.

The first section of the film depicts the young Kathy, along with her friends Tommy and Ruth, spending their childhood at Hailsham, a seemingly idyllic English boarding school. It is subtly revealed that the film is set in an alternate twentieth century. One of the teachers is fired after telling the pupils of their fate: they exist to provide donor organs for transplants. They will be nurtured to adult age at which time they will be available for "selection." After their third "selection" they will "complete" before they can be selected for any more procedures. Some "complete" after their first, though, while others survive through four or more procedures. Tommy is emotionally angry and is teased by the other boys. Kathy falls in love with him.

In the second section of the film, the three friends, now teenagers, are rehoused in cottages on a rural farm. They are permitted to leave the grounds if they wish. They do not question the ethics of their situation. At the farm, they meet other graduates of similar places. Kathy, Tom and Ruth are clones who are fascinated by the idea of finding the original people that they were "modeled on". Kathy and her friends are questioned about rumours of the possibility of "deferral" - which allows couples several extra years before being "selected" if they are in love and can prove it. Tommy reasons that the art gallery at Hailsham was intended to identify clones who have a soul. Tommy and Ruth become sexually active. The lonely Kathy applies to become a "carer" - a clone who is taught to drive and trained to give post-operative care to others, and given a temporary reprieve from selection as an exchange for supporting and comforting donors as they are made to give up their organs. She has become a carer by the time she hears that Tommy and Ruth have split up.

In the third scenario of the film, Kathy has been working as a carer some years later. She has watched many clones "complete" as their organs are donated; their deaths are referred to as "completion". She reunites with Ruth, who is frail after two donations. Ruth has been keeping track of her and Tommy. She helps Kathy arrange their reunion. Ruth admits that she did not love Tommy and seduced him because she was jealous and afraid to be alone. She is consumed with guilt, and has been searching for a way to help Tommy and Kathy. She believes that Tommy and Kathy would qualify for "deferral." She gives them an address, that of "Madame" who would visit the Hailsham and select works of the students' art would be worthy to go into the gallery. Ruth "completes" on the operating table shortly afterward. Tommy explains to Kathy that he has been creating art for the past several years in hopes of a deferral. He and Kathy drive to visit the Madame. There is no such thing as deferral after all though. Tommy's artwork will not help them.

The film ends after Tommy has "completed." Kathy is left alone. Two weeks after losing Tommy, Kathy is notified that her first "selection" will take place in one month. Contemplating their childhood, she speculates whether their fate is really all so different from the people who receive their organs; "We all complete. Maybe none of us really understand what we've lived through or feel we've had enough time."

I come here and imagine that this is the spot where everything I've lost since my childhood is washed out. I tell myself, if that were true, and I waited long enough then a tiny figure would appear on the horizon across the field and gradually get larger until I'd see it was Tommy. He'd wave. And maybe call. I don't know if the fantasy go beyond that, I can't let it. I remind myself I was lucky to have had any time with him at all. What I'm not sure about, is if our lives have been so different from the lives of the people we save. We all complete. Maybe none of us really understand what we've lived through, or feel we've had enough time. ---Kathy, Never Let Me Go.


I've always had reasons why I showed up this late. I was about to blogging this morning. As yesterday I went to Christmas Celebration with my work colleagues, one of my colleagues took lots of pics as he was in charge for documentation, so I sent message to him to send some of those pics to my email as I am going to blog about it. I was too busy enjoying the celebration and chatting in between and worried at the same time how am I suppose to go home, because the party location was too far from my residence and well, of course, not forgetting to camwhoring with my close friends, that I forgot to take other pics. :p

Anyway, he converted the RAW files into JPEG this afternoon, then he's off to his choir rehearsal. I can't wait for any longer. I want to blog so badly, so here I am, babbling about this and that. I'll just blog about yesterday's celebration later on when I've got all the pics, patient, k? :)

This post is written yesterday, but I felt asleep, before I had a chance to press the publish button and I am way too lazy to edit the words, so yeah.. read this thread as it still Saturday, not Sunday, okay? :p

See you guys again soon :)

It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission. ---Grace Hopper

Friday, December 9, 2011

Fallen Angel...

Two days in a row, it still early and I felt asleep just like that! Pheww... I must be very berry merry tired inside and outside, body and mind. SIGH. I had a bad sleeping time already, and now it became even worse. I slept around 9 pm and woke at one or two in the middle of night. Feel so fresh with only three to five hours sleep. You must be wondering what the hell am I doing at that time. Well, thanks to the internet for always be there accompanying me whenever I need it.

Now that I've already put "Need You Know" - Lady Antebellum's lyrics, I should say, I heard this song a lot, and it is soooo me. I decided to change my background music now.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all..

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now.

For the whole lyrics, click here :) Enjoy!

The promise given was a necessity of the past: the word broken is a necessity of the present. ---Niccolo Machiavelli

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Never Let Me Go



Currently reading the novel. I was reading it from 2 months ago, but haven't got a chance to finished it, since, again, I am working. But no worries! I'll finished it ASAP! I can't wait to read my new books that I bought at Kinokuniya on last Sunday. Anyway, I was in a weird state at the moment. I got these butterflies in my stomach. That's not enough said, I know, but psstt.. I want to keep this for myself, sorry, fellas! Well, I won't share it for public, but if ya curious, you can ask me and I'll nicely tell you :p

When I think of that moment now, standing with Tommy in the little side-street about to begin our search, I feel a warmth welling up through me. Everything suddenly felt perfect: an hour set aside, stretching ahead us, and there wasn't a better way to spend it. I had to really hold myself back from giggling stupidly, or jumping up and down on the pavement like a little kid. Not long ago, when I was caring for Tommy, and I brought up our Norfolk trip, he told me he'd felt exactly the same. That moment when we decided to go searching for my lost tape, it was like suddenly every cloud had blown away, and we had nothing but fun and laughter before us.

The line above, which is narrated by Kathy is taken from "Never Let Me Go" page 169. One of my favorite paragraphs from the book. Now you're guessing why I took it and posted it here. Go, and figure it out yourself as I won't tell ya! *lipsaresealed* :p



I am leaving you with big question mark marked on your face. Need to get back to the book. See ya alligator!

I keep thinking about this river somewhere, with the water moving really fast. And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the end it's just too much. The current's too strong. They've got to let go, drift apart. That's how it is with us. It's a shame, Kath, because we've loved each other all our lives. But in the end, we can't stay together forever. ― Kazuo Ishiguro, Never Let Me Go

Monday, December 5, 2011

Souvenir d'Enfance

Just got home from work and I am so damn sleepy and tired. But I've made a promise, so here I am, posting something to get back on track, by regularly updating my blog, even I don't know what should I write here. I am totally blank. I don't feel like sharing things that happened at the office. It simply gives me headache and tense. It was stressful. That's enough said.

Anyway, currently, in my busyness, I started to feel boring with my routines. I don't know, I feel plain. Maybe It's because I am too tired. I am tired but I don't feel like sleeping and resting, yet I don't feel like going out for refreshing. I simply don't know what to do. Ahh.. maybe I am just not in a good mood at the moment. I better get outta here, before I change my mind and delete everything that I already typed here.

P.S. Internet runs slow tonight, it's a sign for me to get back reading Never Let Me Go, a novel by Kazuo Ishiguro. I can't wait to read my new books that I bought yesterday at Kinokuniya Bookstore. That place is heaven, by the way. Never get bored to visit that bookstore over and over again, and pssttt... it's one of the most memorable places in town! :p

Ciao, fellas~

Memory is an abstract painting. It doesn't present things as how they are, but rather as how they feel. ---Unknown

Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

woah woaaah.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

I just need you now (wait)

Ooo, baby, I need you now

Current favorite song. Can't stop listening to this song and can't help to not put this song on repeat :D Should I change my background music to as well? What do you think? To be honest, I am too lazy to tweak the codes and find the song on YouTube :p But if  you want, I'll change it :p

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Random Babbling

Did you still remember my post about getting a DSLR? Well, last month, I attended the inauguration of our new office building. My work mate, who is also a wedding photographer, brought his DSLR and I finally got my hands dirty by played around with it. I snapped some normal pics using his DSLR and some pics with blurred BG. I quite satisfied with the result and he also said that's not bad for a newbie.

Actually, I took many pics, but I deleted it right away, because I didn't really like how it turns out. This is the only one left. Tell me what do you think, will ya? :) No photoshop, no edit, except I resized it to fit to my blog's pixels.

I love the result that I focused on one flower and blurred the background and the other :))

P.S. I will definitely get one for myself, if it's possible, next year, around February to April, you won't see any grainy/noise on my pics anymore :p

I never question what to do, it tells me what to do. The photographs make themselves with my help. ---Ruth Bernhard

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Hello My December

Man! Imagine!! Less than a month, 2011 will be over soon. Sometimes I forgot how time can flies this fast. So sad but so happy to give this month a warm welcome. I just love December, because it means, Christmas is near. I Don't have to explain again, why I love Christmas. Everybody loves it, I bet.

Anyway, last week, I went to Starbucks with my housemates and this is also one of reasons why I love Christmas. It's Starbucks Christmas Handcrafted Espresso Beverages!! I am not a big fan of coffee, but I like coffee and I'm dying to taste Starbucks Tofffee Nut Latte, but I change my mind right after I saw how tempting Cranberry White chocolate Mocha on the menu list.I should say it was delicious. I just love it! My girls are also love it. I'd love to have another go, next time I visit Starbucks, but I guess, I still want to have Toffee Nut Latte, so maybe in the near future, I will be visiting Starbucks quite often ;D

I also tried one of Starbucks Holiday Food 2011, Blueberry Cream Cheese Cake. It was okay. If only the pie is salty, it will be more delicious, in my opinion. I was more into Raspberry Temptation, which is a vanilla sponge cake with raspberry jelly on the top plus white chocolate drizzle, layered with cheese butter cream, but it doesn't look too appetizing and since you know that I love to take food pics, so, I chose Blueberry Cream Cheese Cake, as the Barista's recommendation.




It was 9 something when we finished our coffee time and decided to leave. Instead of going home, we headed to Centro Dept. Store to participate in Midnight Sale. I've got a special deal for my favorite Boyfriend Blazer. You know how much I love Blazer and Coat, right, and when I saw it, I was like, OMG!! I want it!! I tried it, and it fits perfectly. It costs 700k something IDR, normal price, but because it's midnight sale, they gave 50% off plus another additional 10% off if you have Centro member card. In the end, I only paid 328.000 IDR, cool, right? Wait until you see the pics yourself. You'd say, I made a good decision by grabbed it. It's worth every penny :)



Invio semi coat-blazer.

Oh, yeah, before I forgot, a week or two, before I bought the blazer, I also got another Boyfriend Blazer from Forever 21. It's quite cheap too, only 400k something. Sadly, not many sizes and colors left, I want the khaki color, but no s-size anymore, so I grabbed the black one. Now that I open my wardrobe, there are so many black blazers hanging there, but hey! As my dear friend always say to me, you'll never get too much black blazer, right? You could use it to any occasion, formal and informal, from a wedding to malls, simply anywhere :)

Forever 21 Boyfriend Blazer.

I just love them!! My favorite blazer ever! I won't stop finding another one, no, two or well, three :p with different colors and models. These are pretty much my style and will always be my favorite style in dressing, so yeah, you'll see me wearing these kind of outfits very often. I'll just mix and match with different tank tops, pants or even with mini dresses, etc etc. I don't know, we'll see :)

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. ---Andy Rooney

All Brand New

No doubt that I am such a bad bad bad blogger. Period. No need to comment. I've got enough with bad thoughts inside my head, like my left brain is quarreling with my right brain, that I should change this bad habit. I am and was freaking busy within these few weeks, but it's not like I don't have time at all for blogging, I'm just not in the mood. Lately, I am out of words, as you can see, I rarely update my twitter as well. Beside the fact that I am not in the mood, the signal in my new office-oh, yeah, we've moved to new office building now, I'll tell you more about it later on-is bad like you're in the middle of nowhere and can't reach for any signals. It just sucks. So, I won't bother to tweet something unimportant. I'll tweet when I feel like tweeting.

To be honest, I don't feel like sharing about office stuffs here, because sometimes it gives me tense, but yeah, not much I can share here anymore, since I spent my weekdays in the office, so, start from now on, you'll read many words related to office and work. Please get used to it :)

Anyway, we've finally moved to our new office building. Everything is new, the desks, the phones, drawers, etc etc. Not everything that new is good, though. The new office made some of us must put a lot of effort to reach it. First, the place is a little farther than the old building, a little, note that, but hello, this is JAKARTA! an inch different would makes a BIG difference and would takes a LOT longer to reach that place. As for me, to reach the old building, I just need to catch a bus and stop at the 5th station and take some walk to enter the building. It's located in the middle of one of the busiest district in town, but accessible from anywhere. I just love the location and this area, because it close to my residence. I took 8.00 am bus and I won't be late for office, how cool is that, right? :D

Now, as the new place, is still located in the other side of the busiest area in town-which is part of the town that I dislike-our building location is isolated, our building is the first building after a large area of what we used to called "jungle" in the middle of town. It's a large area of bush. Do not image it, I might be exaggerating it :p But for real, it's so far. We need to take a long walk from bus station to reach this place. I always ended up sweating hard! Fiuhhh!! I don't like it. Feel like I wanna take a shower again and again. I want to stay fresh when I reach my office, not with my outfit stick to my wet skin. :(
Anyway, I rarely put my feet on this part of the town, simply because I don't like it and not too many malls here, so yeah, I don't have to explain more.

Second, the signal thingy that I've told you before. The signal in this area is sucks to the max. This is bad because it drained our phone juices. I need to bring my charger(s) to office, like freaking everyday. SIGH!!

Third, no canteen, no food court, no mini-mart available in our office building, yet. Imagine, we have to bring our lunch, or call for delivery order, junk food, plain and boring, or else, you need to-again-take a long walk to the other building to get a-not-so-delicious-food-yet-sooooo-freaking-expensive. Okay, 3 reasons are enough to make a conclusion that "new" doesn't always good, right? Agree or not, that's the fact.

The only positive side is, the more you walk, the more calories you burn, the healthier you are, right? Good for us, free treadmill, free sauna, good for your diet, because you can't easily get food to eat. I loose some weight, and gained another weight, as I am tired of too much walking, so, I ate a LOT, and the air conditioner in the new building is so damn freezing! Makes you hungry almost all the time, not working for me though, but still it's not good, not good, because it makes me freezing to death and sleepy. Sigh.

Enough talking about new office building. I'll see u again on the next post. I am so in a mood for blogging now! So, let's create more threads :D

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. ---Oscar Wilde, De Profundis, 1905