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Sunday, October 31, 2010


Happy Halloween!! :)

*knock knock!! Trick or Treat?!?

I don't have any treats or tricks so, just enjoy this Jack-O-Lantern! I've changed its color, as always. Btw,  I have a very slow connection at the moment, so I couldn't upload the pics to photobucket, and make a mouseover-before and after. :(



Anyway, as halloween comes, it means, we have to say goodbye to october pretty soon. Which is means less than 2 months to go to finishing my essay! Duh!! I will make it on time. Revision chapter one and two, then working on chapter 3. Fiuuhhh... Relax. I will make it on time, no matter what! :) But still, I need prayers too, will you guys do me that favor? Thank you for that anyway :)

For the rest of the world, how's your halloween? And for the others what's your plan for halloween? I don't celebrate it. I don't know. I don't go to any halloween/costume party or whatever. I just don't really like it.

Well, I'm going to starbucks again this afternoon, just to find  Starbucks' Strawberries & Crème Frappuccino® Blended Beverage. You know how I love strawberry, right? I've been visiting couple of starbucks' coffee shop, everyday, in the past two weeks, just to find this beverage. Sadly, it's out of stock. Always. I ended up with ordered Green Tea Crème Frappuccino® Blended Beverage or Caramel Macchiato/Caramel Frappuccino® blended beverage or Raspberry Frappuccino® blended juice drinks. My fave is Green Tea Crème Frappuccino® Blended Beverage, but I know, I'll totally heart Strawberries & Crème Frappuccino® Blended Beverage, as soon as I taste it. :D Pray for me, so I will managed to get a chance to taste it today. :)

I found these Strawberries & Crème Frappuccino® Blended Beverage pics over the internet. I wonder why it looks different from one another? I don't know if it has the same taste. Gotta figure out later.
I gotta go now. I'll post other pics later on! Okay, I'm bringing my Vesca with me, so, I'll see you very soon! :)

“Like the strawberry wives, that laid two or three great strawberries at the mouth of their pot, and all the rest were little ones.” ---Francis Bacon, Sr. quotes (English Lawyer and Philosopher. 1561-1626)

Saturday, October 30, 2010


I am awake. After sleeping like a dead man for about 5 hours. I still want to sleep, but I couldn't. You know, once you stayed up late at night, you can never really pay your sleep debt. Even you stayed up for about 2 to 3 hours from your normal bed time at night, you have to pay it by sleeping for a whole day on the following day.

I can't feel any freshness at all, after sleep for that long. Maybe I should go for a shower now, but you know what I mean. You're going to feel so fresh after bath, but not like you satisfied with your sleep. This is what exactly happening to me now. With my panda eyes, and heavy head, I don't feel like browsing. But I really really wanna blogging. I want to blogging right from bed, with iPhone, but I don't know, I feel it's just not right. Plus, I can save my iPhone's internet's quota, by online with my dear Vesca. :)

Btw, I don't know what to write anymore. My friend sent me a lot of pics to edit, so I'm going to play with Photoshop now. Plus, suddenly my Internet is in turtle phase, so I'll be back to show you the results later! :D

All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself.  ---Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"

P.S. I love the quote berry much!! :)

Friday, October 29, 2010

Pssstt.. It's a Secret!

What is secret(s) means to you? Do you told your secrets to someone? It might be to your family, bf/gf, best friends, a-just-normal-friends. Well, I did. Umm.. in my opinion, there are three types of secret(s). My own definition about secret(s):

1. Top Secret.
Well, everybody has a secret(s) that can't or supposed not to be shared to anyone in this world, no matter what! You tend to keep everything for yourself-okay, God is an exceptional! He knows everything, right? So we wont talk about it, cuz we're talking about human being-because it's so important and it's not because you don't wanna people know about it or you don't trust people-it might be something like embarrassing moment, that you could disappear from this world if people know about it and it could change your life into a nightmare! or whatever-but you just can't tell to anyone.

2. "Just" Secret.
This is kind of "secret(s)" that some people know about it. Quite important and usually people share this kind of secret to their close people. Important things only can be shared to important people in our life, right?

3. Not-so-secret Secret. 
About this one, in my very honest opinion, it consists of things that "special" and "secretive" but not too important, and you want just some people know about it, but actually, it doesn't matter if more people know about it. For example, my blog. I'm having this blog as my diary, I shared and typed anything that I want, here. But none of these things that I shared here are "too" important, like I'd rather choose being shot right on my head, if any of you who read this blog telling my story to everyone out there. You get it. It's not that important. Instead, I'm happy if you spread the word about the content of this blog. I means, I got an extra attention from people, am I that famous! WOW. Nice thing, isn't it? :p Well, you know, I am human and as a human being, you have this feeling too and yeah, I know you can feel it too. ;p

Anyway, you must be wondering why I took this topic. Well, it's because, I've just read a novel, it was about love and friendship. However, my main concern wasn't about the love and friendship itself, but about betrayal that exist between them. Betrayal in love and in friendship. The story was about lover's betrayal and how your best friend, the one that you can always rely on, for every problems that you had, and she always be there for you. Then in the end she became your worst enemy, because she betrayed you. Told all of your secrets, and even worse, told lies and something bad behind you. Literally, it's not like that. There's a reason why she did that, but I think I don't have to tell you about it, because my point is, how if this happening to you? Well, the friend's part, not a lover's part. I've been there and done that! You know, this story really hit me. It hurts, when I read it and remembered what happened to me, well, 10 years ago, I can say. But never mind, it was my past, and history anyway and I forgive them but won't forget about it, moreover, we're so young that time, no maturity. It happened when my friends and I were on Junior High School. Oh yeah, you have no idea how good I am with memorizing things! umm, or you could say, I'm sucks on forgetting things!-school lessons are exception!- haha :p Btw, shouldn't become mellow because of the situation.

So, as I stated above, how if your very best friend, did that to you? Could you ever trust people again? Well, I don't know your age. But as for me, getting mature day by day-and old as well, sigh!-even sometimes my childishness is still with me-Oh, come on! Every grown ups also has this so called childishness inside them! It only matters of time, until they show it to you, or maybe they won't show it to you and will keep it just for them-I started to see things with different point of view.

To answer my question, it's not easy for me to trust people again, in my life, since that, but I could always trust people, in my way.. I don't know how to say this, but I always have this indescribable feeling that could help me to choose and find people who is trustworthy and who isn't. Besides, I love to share everything about me and my life to people, so I trust them or not, in the end, I will always ended up telling things about me to them. And so far, this feeling never wrong. I don't know if I am wrong and "you" guys out there laughing at me by the moment you read this and say, "She's so stupid, she doesn't even know that we've talked about her behind her back and told lies and all her secrets to the world. And she still believing in us and keep on telling her secrets to us."

Well, you're totally wrong if you could ever think like that. Such an immature thoughts, you've got. Okay, first, go ahead, talk about me behind my back! I won't know it, anyway, and likeeee I care! I do talk about people behind his/her back too-I am human too and sinners! and Oh, who on earth talk about people directly in front of him/her? Duh! Except best friend keep telling each other what's good and bad for our goodness-and I know how does it feel. Fun! Yeah! Have to admit that, but I don't talk about people too often, because you're not that important to me and why on earth should I talked about you all the time, like you did? I am not your fan, dude. :) But one thing for sure I am not telling lies behind your back, and I'm not telling your secrets to anyone! Second, you telling lies about me? Never mind, people know me better than you do, and my best friends and friends would believe in me, even I said nothing. You know, my best friends are really the BEST. As a good and best friends, they will always supporting me, no matter what. So you better keep your mouth shut. :) Third, which part of "things" that I've told you were secrets? If you say it was a secret, it means you don't know me at all. It wasn't a secret. You can read again, my definition about secret. FYI, everything that I told you, wasn't a secret. I called it a secret because I keep it from some other people, because for some reason, I'm not telling to the others, but I choose to tell you, instead, umm, I could say, you're just lucky, I'm choosing you, besides, I don't have time and intention to tell everyone about it, but I don't mind if you share it to others, I'm just hoping you've got some ethics and respects to people who told you about it.

P.S. To my dear besties, DJ, Deb, Steff, if you guys read this, I just wanna say that I love you guys so much :). And thanks for being a great friends to me! XOXO.

Pheww... this quite a long post! I didn't realize, I've typed this much. Gotta go for a shower and continue writing my essay. Till we meet again. :)

You can always tell a real friend:  when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.  ---Laurence J. Peter

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Do You Know Where You Going To?

Hello!! Have you heard my new background song on this blog? It's Theme from Mahogany with "Do you know where you going to?" title. You have no idea how much I love this. I also play this on piano. It's so hard to find the piano sheets, but I've got it and I used to play this song, until I don't know, suddenly the sheets' gone. Gone for real. I couldn't find it anywhere. This is bad, because this is the only song that I can't play without looking at the sheets. :(  I couldn't memorize it, even I've played it a lot. For what I can remember, it was easy. Not like Maksim's Croatian Rhapsody sheets. But somehow, I could remember every single note!

As you know, it's so hard to find this piano sheet, plus I forgot where I got it on the first place. but Thanked God, I've just found it yesterday. Sadly our printer is broken, so I need to print it somewhere else. I'm going to do that ASAP. Maybe on Saturday, as I need to print my essay. I can't wait to touch the tuts again, with this song. :)


Musical compositions, it should be remembered, do not inhabit certain countries, certain museums, like paintings and statues.  The Mozart Quintet is not shut up in Salzburg:  I have it in my pocket.  ---Henri Rabaud

Saturday, October 23, 2010


What is going to happen, if from the moment you opened your eyes and wake up in the morning, you skip the morning prayer because you're in hurry? I'm telling you this, you obviously starting your day in a wrong way! This is just what happened to me this morning. I can't remember what time I went to bed last night, because I felt asleep, right after I charged my blackberry. But I'm sure it's early, maybe around 11p.m. Anyway, alarm rang at 5a.m sharp. My dear woke up first, then he tried to wake me up, but I was too lazy and sleepy to be awaken. I tried to opened my eyes and get used to see in the darkness, then grabbed one of my phones beside me, the only thing I could find on my bed except my pillows is my blackberry, still plugged in, and hot as hell. It's 5-Of course, it's five you sleepyhead! You've set the alarm, right?-  -.-"

"Oh my!" I said to myself. "This blackberry is damn hot! What the hell! Btw I'm too sleepy, let me sleep again for another 5 minutes." I remember I muttered something like that, then I slept again for another 15 minutes. SHOCKED. When I really woke up and found out that my blackberry was still hot, as I grabbed it once again, to see what time was it, for exact. I still have a short conversation about it, with my boy, or we could say nagging for more precise, before I decided to rise and shine for real then rushed to bath in hurry, get dressed, and ready to off.

Rain was the last least thing I expect to happened this morning. But, it rained. SIGH. I was complaining again, and suddenly I didn't feel like going to campus. After waiting for 10 minutes, we're off. Luckily no more rain, until we arrived safely to campus. And that was fast. Thanked God for that. While I was on my way, I'm thinking of this thread. I should write it down here as a reminder for myself and for all of you who read this. I was totally wrong, starting the day by forgetting my morning prayer. And I feel it's so bad, by not having this gratitude inside me. Instead of having positive mind sets and thoughts, I already ruined my day by complaining this and that.

...After waiting for 10 minutes, we're off. Luckily no more rain, until we arrived safely to campus. And that was fast. Thanked God for that.

That was my first gratitude to God, this morning, after I arrived safely with dry clothes on. No rain, no heavy traffic, no mud and dirty shoe. You know what, maybe it is okay-well, it is not, actually-if you forget to pray, or "don't" have "time" for that, for any excuses like, too busy, in a hurry, too tired, or worst, you don't believe in God and any religions etc etc. But at least, you need to have this so called gratitude. Be gratitude for what we've got so far, for all good things that God-or you may called Him whatever you wanna called, in accordance with your beliefs-has given to us, His protections to us and for our families, dearest, friends, His abundant blessings and love for us, etc. Even in our bad times, we should remember Him, cuz it's the only way we could pass through it. I know it's hard, we often won't remember God, and more likely, we're blaming Him for this kind of situation.

Well, I'm saying this, doesn't mean like I am a good person who pray a lot and always remember my God. I'm just the same human as you, sinners, and often blaming God during my bad times. I hope this short notes-ehm, I know it's quite long- ;p could always reminds us-especially me-to be grateful all the time so we could be a better man, someday... :)

Gratitude is the best attitude. Always remember that. :) 

Anywayyyyy, let's talk about something else. Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell ya something. You know what, After woke so early, and rushed to campus, I didn't have class today. My lecturer was not coming this morning. SIGH-Okay, I am not complaining, I'm just saying and share some stories here, okay!- :) But I am so happy and grateful, of course, not because I don't have class today, but because I came to see my thesis supervisor this morning, and yay!! My essay is approved. So happy. I only need to make some revisions for chapter one then I can continue to chapter two. I am so excited and ready to continue my essay again!
Btw, I've changed my blog header. What do you think of my new header? I know, if you didn't look carefully, it's almost the same as before, but, yeah, I decided to keep using my old "fragaria" I just modified the rest. Here's the pics, before and after, just in case you didn't notice any differences :)



What do you think then? :)
I'm so in love with my old "fragaria" alphabet, that's why I didn't change it. I only put some more shadows and played around with fonts. I don't have to tell you how much I love fonts, right? :p Umm, don't ask me what are the fonts in used, because I have nooo idea.

Oh, yeah, before I forgot, yesterday I watched "Life As We Know It". About the movie, I think it was standard, predictable, lots of fights and argues scenes but romantic, funny and boring in some parts. I personally not really into it. You know, seeing how hard this "couple" raised a child makes me think twice for having marriage's life and a baby. I don't know. But maybe they make things difficult for the purpose of the film, or the real life is like that, I have no clue. I'm kind of people who doesn't like "process". I know every things need "process" but I tend to like to have everything in instant. And well, so far, I always followed the "process" but not because I want it, but I had to. Some other times, I tend to play a little tricks or cheat during this "process" LOL. I know I'm a bad girl. LOL. but, I had great times, and maybe I'll keep on doing it. ;p

Sooo, what's the deal between marriage life and having a baby with the "process" that had been discussed? Well, there are so many relations between these. But I won't discuss it here. Enough talking for today, this is too much. :p Last but not least, maybe I'm just not ready yet. That's it. See you guys again later on. Need to get ready, going to having tea time this evening. See ya! :)

Grace isn't a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal.  It's a way to live.  ---~Attributed to Jacqueline Winspear.

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice.  ---Meister Eckhart

Friday, October 22, 2010

Please, Don't Stop the Music!

After yesterday's "busy" time, and ugly mood, I finally had this delicious mood again, which is weird, because I had bad and weird dream last night, until this morning, I guess. It was something that makes me ain't get up from my comfy bed, even when the sun is already high. I can't tell what was that about, because I have no idea from where to start. I've just realized, every time we had a dream, we barely can't recall or remember the beginning of our dreams. Just exactly the same as what Leonardo DiCaprio-as Cobb, in Inception-said.

Well dreams, they feel real while we're in them, right? It's only when we wake up that we realize how things are actually strange. Let me ask you a question, you, you never really remember the beginning of a dream do you? You always wind up right in the middle of what's going on.

That's so true. I don't even remember anything, in the beginning and how I ended up dreamt about it. It could be sweet dreams or nightmares. We're all have no idea how we had them. Enough talk about dreams and inception. Did you hear my new background music? What do you think? I'm so loving it! I can't wait till december, cuz I want to put back my christmas theme on this blog! YAY!!

Meanwhile, I supposed to go to campus this evening, to consult my essay with my lecturer. But sadly, I texted her this morning, asked about her schedule, and she said, she won't be available today, because she has a job to do. SIGH. Another postponement. I started to feel so desperate with my essay. Can I finished it on time? HIKS.

Be back soon. Suddenly got things to do. See ya!!

Remember, if you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns!  ---Allison Gappa Bottke

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Back in!

Hi guys! It's been a while. Sorry for disappeared. As you know, I have exams three days in a row, so yeah, I really didn't touch my vesca for three days. You have no idea how I missed her much. :p
Actually, I have lots of things to share, but I'm not in a mood. You know, my blackberry acted so weird, and since this afternoon, 2 p.m for exact, I don't have blackberry messenger with me anymore. What kind of blackberry is that? I don't know what the hell is wrong with my handheld! But one thing for sure, it pissed me off to the max. Because today, Axis-my provider-also acted like a shit! I was trying to re-downloaded my blackberry messenger that was missing since this afternoon from my device, for about 10++ times. Imagine!! Then ended up, it always error or failed halfway. Then within my miserable time, suddenly it rained heavily and here we go again. The internet was dead!! D.E.A.D. Perfect. It was just perfect!

Anyway, I'm still working on my blackberry, so I gotta go now. See you tomorrow. :)

Good Night!!

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.  ---Herm Albright, quoted in Reader's Digest, June 1995