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Friday, October 29, 2010

Pssstt.. It's a Secret!

What is secret(s) means to you? Do you told your secrets to someone? It might be to your family, bf/gf, best friends, a-just-normal-friends. Well, I did. Umm.. in my opinion, there are three types of secret(s). My own definition about secret(s):

1. Top Secret.
Well, everybody has a secret(s) that can't or supposed not to be shared to anyone in this world, no matter what! You tend to keep everything for yourself-okay, God is an exceptional! He knows everything, right? So we wont talk about it, cuz we're talking about human being-because it's so important and it's not because you don't wanna people know about it or you don't trust people-it might be something like embarrassing moment, that you could disappear from this world if people know about it and it could change your life into a nightmare! or whatever-but you just can't tell to anyone.

2. "Just" Secret.
This is kind of "secret(s)" that some people know about it. Quite important and usually people share this kind of secret to their close people. Important things only can be shared to important people in our life, right?

3. Not-so-secret Secret. 
About this one, in my very honest opinion, it consists of things that "special" and "secretive" but not too important, and you want just some people know about it, but actually, it doesn't matter if more people know about it. For example, my blog. I'm having this blog as my diary, I shared and typed anything that I want, here. But none of these things that I shared here are "too" important, like I'd rather choose being shot right on my head, if any of you who read this blog telling my story to everyone out there. You get it. It's not that important. Instead, I'm happy if you spread the word about the content of this blog. I means, I got an extra attention from people, am I that famous! WOW. Nice thing, isn't it? :p Well, you know, I am human and as a human being, you have this feeling too and yeah, I know you can feel it too. ;p

Anyway, you must be wondering why I took this topic. Well, it's because, I've just read a novel, it was about love and friendship. However, my main concern wasn't about the love and friendship itself, but about betrayal that exist between them. Betrayal in love and in friendship. The story was about lover's betrayal and how your best friend, the one that you can always rely on, for every problems that you had, and she always be there for you. Then in the end she became your worst enemy, because she betrayed you. Told all of your secrets, and even worse, told lies and something bad behind you. Literally, it's not like that. There's a reason why she did that, but I think I don't have to tell you about it, because my point is, how if this happening to you? Well, the friend's part, not a lover's part. I've been there and done that! You know, this story really hit me. It hurts, when I read it and remembered what happened to me, well, 10 years ago, I can say. But never mind, it was my past, and history anyway and I forgive them but won't forget about it, moreover, we're so young that time, no maturity. It happened when my friends and I were on Junior High School. Oh yeah, you have no idea how good I am with memorizing things! umm, or you could say, I'm sucks on forgetting things!-school lessons are exception!- haha :p Btw, shouldn't become mellow because of the situation.

So, as I stated above, how if your very best friend, did that to you? Could you ever trust people again? Well, I don't know your age. But as for me, getting mature day by day-and old as well, sigh!-even sometimes my childishness is still with me-Oh, come on! Every grown ups also has this so called childishness inside them! It only matters of time, until they show it to you, or maybe they won't show it to you and will keep it just for them-I started to see things with different point of view.

To answer my question, it's not easy for me to trust people again, in my life, since that, but I could always trust people, in my way.. I don't know how to say this, but I always have this indescribable feeling that could help me to choose and find people who is trustworthy and who isn't. Besides, I love to share everything about me and my life to people, so I trust them or not, in the end, I will always ended up telling things about me to them. And so far, this feeling never wrong. I don't know if I am wrong and "you" guys out there laughing at me by the moment you read this and say, "She's so stupid, she doesn't even know that we've talked about her behind her back and told lies and all her secrets to the world. And she still believing in us and keep on telling her secrets to us."

Well, you're totally wrong if you could ever think like that. Such an immature thoughts, you've got. Okay, first, go ahead, talk about me behind my back! I won't know it, anyway, and likeeee I care! I do talk about people behind his/her back too-I am human too and sinners! and Oh, who on earth talk about people directly in front of him/her? Duh! Except best friend keep telling each other what's good and bad for our goodness-and I know how does it feel. Fun! Yeah! Have to admit that, but I don't talk about people too often, because you're not that important to me and why on earth should I talked about you all the time, like you did? I am not your fan, dude. :) But one thing for sure I am not telling lies behind your back, and I'm not telling your secrets to anyone! Second, you telling lies about me? Never mind, people know me better than you do, and my best friends and friends would believe in me, even I said nothing. You know, my best friends are really the BEST. As a good and best friends, they will always supporting me, no matter what. So you better keep your mouth shut. :) Third, which part of "things" that I've told you were secrets? If you say it was a secret, it means you don't know me at all. It wasn't a secret. You can read again, my definition about secret. FYI, everything that I told you, wasn't a secret. I called it a secret because I keep it from some other people, because for some reason, I'm not telling to the others, but I choose to tell you, instead, umm, I could say, you're just lucky, I'm choosing you, besides, I don't have time and intention to tell everyone about it, but I don't mind if you share it to others, I'm just hoping you've got some ethics and respects to people who told you about it.

P.S. To my dear besties, DJ, Deb, Steff, if you guys read this, I just wanna say that I love you guys so much :). And thanks for being a great friends to me! XOXO.

Pheww... this quite a long post! I didn't realize, I've typed this much. Gotta go for a shower and continue writing my essay. Till we meet again. :)

You can always tell a real friend:  when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.  ---Laurence J. Peter

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